If you have an Avoidant Attachment Style (or are “Love Avoidant,”) it means you have a gut-level, somatic sense deep in your body that it’s dangerous to get too close to another human being. Your instincts are (often incorrectly) warning you that others are trying to take something from you, or control or harm you in some way.
As much as you want love (and yes, Love Avoidants desperately want the love they find so hard to find), there is a part of you that is always working against having it. Without consciously meaning to, you’ll have a tendency to destabilize any relationships that get too close.
Hence, the deep feeling of resignation that can sometimes take over and cause you to compromise for someone who is “unavailable” yet again.
If you have an insecure attachment style (or are a “Love Addict”) it means you have a gut-level, somatic sense deep in your body that others could disappear in any given moment. You feel like you have to work very hard to keep the love you find, even if that means settling for crumbs. You live with a chronic anxiety that others will leave you if they are unhappy with you in any way.. Therefore, any kind of conflict is threatening because you’ll see it as the beginning of the end.
You will have a tendency to give your power away to others and are also super sensitive with a huge fear rejection. Because your core beliefs tell you that you’re ultimately all alone in this world.
Do you know your attachment style?
If so, has knowing what it is translated into empowering you to finally create safe, secure healthy and fundamentally happy relationships?
Have you been able to form the rock solid foundation of love that you’ve been yearning for?
If not, you’re not alone.